I always seem to have this luck that I’ll get so close to getting exactly what I want, but there is always a catch. It doesn’t ever work out quite right. Believe me, I’ve got proof. Let me spell it out.
A few weeks ago when my parents were visiting, my dad purchased a DVD/VHS player as a present for us since he knew we’d be hankering for one (this site, it works wonders). Anyway, he got us a top of the line machine and we were so excited. As I was getting it all set up I was treasuring the idea that we’d be able to watch movies on an actual TV and not on my laptop. It was so exciting. And my bellydance videos, I’d actually be able to watch them which I haven’t been able to do since our VHS player broke… several months ago. However long ago it was.
So I was setting it all up and my Dad was perched on our blue chair nearby, all excited about supplying us with electronics that we’ll use, and then we realize that we have a problem. My TV, the one I’ve had since middle school back when Charmed, Popular, and Buffy were big… well, it doesn’t have the proper attachments that this DVD player requires. All it has is the big antenna attachment in the back that you can use to hook it up to a VHS player. It has no fancy plug separation for video, audio, and what have you.
I smile, pat the DVD player and slide it back in our crazy looking entertainment center and turn to my Dad’s shining face.
“Uh… hey dad. We really appreciate the DVD player and it has such cute little buttons… but there is a problem.”
His face kind of drops a little because his little happy bubble of providing for his children has been somewhat popped and he takes a look at the back of the TV and the cords for the DVD player. He sighs.
This moment, this happens in our house a LOT.
For instance, the fancy two cordless dock home phones we just purchased a few weeks ago. They are phenominal. We have a phone in my office and a phone in the living room. The only problem is that our reception is SHIT. Verizon would cackle if they knew, that’s how bad. Especially that geeky guy from the commercials.
Whenever we make calls where we have to enter numbers after calling, like any customer service phone number, we have to wonder around the house and try and find the right spot where we can get reception so that it will go through. We receive calls just fine, we can call people relatively well although we have to wait for the static noises to finish, but calling our voicemail? A pain in the neck. Because we have to dial in the password. And every time, the nice automated lady tells me that it’s not the right password because the numbers didn’t go through properly.
Every once in a while, it’ll go through and we can wade through a trove of messages from the relatives, all imploring us to ‘CALL ME!’ for something or another. Which we do, usually, way before we get their message. We always return missed calls. Usually.
Anyway, you see what I’m saying here? Two instances. And are you ready for instance number three? The most mind boggling and disturbing one of them all due to its recentness?
The fence.
That glorious piece of work. Well, one of the gate latches doesn’t quite reach the post and gives Kayla just enough room to worm her head between the gate and the post. If we didn’t have this chain locking the gate to the fence, she’d pop that sucker open and race across the plains of Illinois. We know this because she did it the day after we got it finished.
It was around 11pm and Andy had already rumbled off to bed while I lay on the couch completely engrossed in my book. I heard a knocking on the door and about flipped out. Who would knock on OUR door at this hour? I padded into the bedroom and let Andy know that someone was at the door and that I’d be answering it. You know, just in case my screams don’t wake him as I’m dragged bodily out of the door or murdered or something.
When I answer the door I meet one of our neighbors who I’ve never actually met but seen a few times and in her hand she holds Kayla’s collar. Kayla is panting and smiling away, her tongue lolling out of her mouth as she tries to breathe from all the running she’d be doing. I thanked our neighbor profusely, make some apology about the fence and how wily our dog is, and brought Kayla inside.
We had a heart to heart of sorts, her panting and trying to breathe, me sitting on the couch trying to figure out how to let Kayla know that for her safety she had better not escape that fence again, the night late, my book sitting on the couch unattended, the lamp chasing off the shadows. I don’t think either of us got much out of it but I did figure out how to fix the problem.
I took the chain leash that we never use (we have a cloth one that we prefer to use) and lashed that gate to the fence without giving it an inch of leeway, Kayla sticking her head between the gate and fence acting like she’d slightly lost her mind. Tongue splashing everywhere. Clearly, she wanted to go wander outside of her fence and continue her adventures. I don’t blame her at all, life is short, enjoy it. But really. The main concern for me was that only her head could get out and not the rest of her body. After I realized that this was so, I trundled back to my book and eventually back to bed.
Flash forward to the day before yesterday when someone we know is getting rid of his 52″ TV and figures we could use it better than the junk yard. This person might be crazy, I mean, really. But nonetheless, we have a nice working 52″ TV now sitting in our living room. And guess what the kicker is. It’s a really good one. Just think about it. Think it over.
It has the plugs necessary to use the TV and DVD player, of course. It functions just fine. There is only one problem. And the problem has a simple solution but the solution requires money, of course. The speaker doesn’t work. The person who gave it to us fixed this by using alternate speakers plugged into the back (surround sound, actually).
So now, we can plug the DVD player into this new TV, turn it on, and enjoy the movie. Sans audio. *falls over with irony overload to the brain*
